Q: If you could use one word to describe each of your births, what would it be?
I think for my first birth, I would say it was empowering. For my second I would say it was like more clarity.
I had a lot of wrong ideas heading into my first birth that were thankfully corrected by the time I was into my second trimester, but I never knew birth could be the way it was with my first. I felt really empowered. With my second it felt clarifying because I knew what it was potentially going to be, but it was still very different than my first birth. It was such a reminder that even our own births are never two of the same.
Q: What is the thing you felt the least prepared for looking back on your births?
I genuinely think for me it was the fact that after my first birth, (TMI warning) my butt was actually more affected down there. I was so prepared for the stitches, for the pain in my vagina and uterus, but I wasn’t prepared to feel so much pain coming from my butt. I usually tell expectant moms now to prepare for that just in case, because I really had nothing to help on hand post delivery.
Q: Was there anything you thought you would want during birth that you ended up not liking?
With my first birth, I didn’t prepare any playlist, and just labored in silence. I felt I’d want music for additional births, so for my second birth I just put on one of my favorite albums when I need to zone in on work or anything like that. This for me was Altas: Year One by Sleeping at Last. It was so calming during active labour and I really enjoyed it, but then when I went into transition I asked my husband to turn it off (I think? Maybe I just put up with it.), because it just became so overpowering to my senses when I was feeling so much in my body. I didn’t feel like I could handle having another sensory input at that point.
Q: Any advice for parents to be?
Remember to follow your own intuition about things. You’re a parent, whether for the first time, or many times over, and you’re the one that spends the most time knowing intimately your new baby. Trust yourself and your gut, and advocate for what you believe is best.
Also I personally never found sleep training to be effective on my babies, and with my first, I spent a lot of time being resentful toward him because he would never conform to the “methods” and just sleep. With my second I felt myself slipping into the same pattern, and I actively chose to be a mother first. To console and rock and nurse and be present with my baby, even if the “methods” say that it’s not the best option.